Shipping
March 5th, 2006

3/31/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Fudgicle

RESPONSE: Take off your shoes and give them to the person, run away as fast as possible while they stand there holding your shoes.

3/30/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Animal

RESPONSE: Tell them about your imaginary pet iguana named Rupert, and that if they don’t buy you lunch you’re going to ’sick’ him on them.

3/29/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Pot Roast

RESPONSE: Start “freaking” the person up close and repeat “all I wanna do is a zoom zoom and a boom boom. Just Shake Your Rump”

3/28/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Sandwich

RESPONSE: State “do you like sandwiches, I like sandwiches, can I be your friend?”

3/27/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Cellphone

RESPONSE: Do your best rendition of Randy “Macho Man” Savage’s “Snap into a Slim Jim” - followed by piledriving the persons head into the ground.

3/22/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Pants

RESPONSE: Pull your pants off, hand them to the person and say “I got your god damned pants right here!”

3/21/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Good Morning

RESPONSE: Pump your fist like the ‘dogpound’ at the arsenio show.

3/20/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Television

RESPONSE: Fall to the ground and sleep for 3 days - hope that you don’t wake up buried.

3/17/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Ankle

RESPONSE: Say “Ankle!, I knew a girl named Ankle back in ‘Nam. Let’s just say - she knew how to use her Ankles.”

3/16/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Gas Station

RESPONSE: State very “matter-of-factly” that pickles are on sale for $1.25 at the market this week. Continue with the conversation like you never even said it.

3/15/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Wine Cooler

RESPONSE: Just slap whoever says this in the face.

3/14/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Jacket

RESPONSE: Say “I pity the fool who don’t eat my cereal” slightly under your breath yet just loud enough for the person to hear you. If they ask you what you just said respond “oh, nothing” and start laughing hysterically.

3/13/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Bottled Water

RESPONSE: ‘Freeze’ in place for 10 seconds (speech, physical movements, blinking…everything - like your a mannequin). After 10 seconds has passed ‘unfreeze’ yourself with a loud and animated “Glory Glory Hallelujah!”, do a James Brown spin and continue where you left off like nothing ever happened.

3/10/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Bees

RESPONSE: Run around frantically screaming “Bees! Bees!” - No matter how many people try and calm you down or convince you that there are no bees, do not stop until you are either kicked out of the building or the police arrive.

3/9/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Stepping Stool

RESPONSE: Sing “stepping stool, stepping stool, I love you” at the same time hold your arms out and slowly spin around twice.

3/8/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Hello

RESPONSE: Punch them directly in the mouth then say “watch your mouth in front of the lady”.

3/7/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Urinal

RESPONSE: This one takes a little planning ahead. Keep a urinal cake on you during the entire day. When you hear the word urinal - or see someone using one - pull the urinal cake out of your pocket and start eating it. Once your mouth is completely full of urinal cake, crack a smile when they’re looking at you, then swallow it - show a grimaced face (will probably happen automatically)- turn around and walk away.

3/6/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Walter Cronkite

RESPONSE: Give the person to your immediate left a flying roundhouse kick to the stomach - Chuck Norris style. Grow a red beard immediately afterwards.

3/3/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Strombolie

RESPONSE: Sing the following in the style of “Jam On It” from the 80’s. “Strombolie, Strombolie, Strom Strom Strombolie”. Accompany with a cool robotic version of the wave.

3/2/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Moist Towelette

RESPONSE: Run head first into the first wall you see - drop to the ground and start twitching. Don’t stop until at least 3 people are huddled over you asking if you’re o.k. Then get up and and ask everyone “What the hell do you want?”

3/1/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Twinkie

RESPONSE: Pretend to cry and say “we lost alot of good men out there”. Turn around, walk away slowly.

2/27/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Rutabaga

RESPONSE: Drop to the ground and do a backspin.

2/23/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Pamphlet

RESPONSE: Scream “I Like Potatoes” at the top of your lungs and pee in your pants (not too much, just a little so it makes a dark spot). Follow it up by not blinking for 30 seconds.

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