8/31/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Athlete

RESPONSE: “Oh - that reminds me”. Take your shoes and socks off, start scratching your feet feverishly and say “I’ve got a severe case of athlete’s foot”. As you’re parting ways rub them on the back with same hand you just itched with.

8/30/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Jellyfish

RESPONSE: “If you don’t mind. I have a phobia of stinging invertebrates. Thanks.” Carry on.

8/29/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Shoehorn

RESPONSE: “Your mom’s a shoehorn”. Actually - that’s a funny t-shirt idea.

8/28/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Houseplant

RESPONSE: Laughing, say “OK”. Then take your shirt off. When they look at you either inquisitely, or scared, say “What?”.

8/25/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Barbecue

RESPONSE: “What did you just say about Bob Becue?”

8/24/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Colin Powell

RESPONSE: Laugh, say “you said Colin”.

8/23/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Moon

RESPONSE: Simply Put - Moon them. For - 37 seconds.

8/22/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Sober

RESPONSE: Respond “Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me”. Then pull a bottle of moonshine out of your pocket and drink the entire thing in front of them. Then state “That outta fix that”. Follow up with a violent burp.

8/21/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Monday

RESPONSE: Start crying. Don’t stop until it’s Friday.

8/18/06

WORD OF THE DAY: President

RESPONSE: During lunch kidnap the president of your company (a la Christmas Vactation). Deliver them to the person like a present and say Merry Christmas!

8/17/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Binder Clip

RESPONSE: Punch them in the stomach as hard as you can. When they drop to the ground, point down to them laughing as hard as you can. When they look up at you gasping for air, suprisedly reply “oh, wait, did that really hurt? I thought you were kidding, sorry.”

8/16/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Shoelace

RESPONSE: Take the shoelaces out of your shoes and give them to the perpetrator tomorrow as a gift. Wrap them up in a small giftbox w/ a bow - accompany with flowers and a greeting card about new love. When you bring them to the person tomorrow say “I’ve got a gift for you!”. Smiling eerily watch them open it. After they open it, and presumably tell you to get away - walk away and violently trip/kick your shoes off. Get up and quietly mutter “son of a bitch - i don’t have any shoelaces”.

8/15/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Australia

RESPONSE: Decorate the persons office/dormroom w/ garden gnomes tonight while their sleeping.

8/14/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Scotch Tape

RESPONSE: This one takes a little planning ahead. Rig up your scotch tape dispenser so it comes out through the ‘fly’ of your pants/shorts or from under your skirt. When the person says ’scotch tape’ - pull down your fly and pull some tape out of your pants and give it to them. When they presumably freak out on you, or stand there in awe, respond very seriously “Scotch tape?….oh, I thought you meant crotch tape. I don’t have any Scotch tape, sorry”. Tell them to see “Heather”, then shrug your shoulders, turn around and walk away.

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