9/25/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Water

RESPONSE: “Waiter, no - What? - no wait - wafer? - I’m sorry, can you repeat yourself?”

9/21/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Autumn

RESPONSE: “You autumn shut your pie hole!”

9/20/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Discombobulated (sp?)

RESPONSE: “You mean like this?” Then proceed with a severe wedgie.

9/19/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Granite

RESPONSE: “Granite - don’t take it for…granite!” Start laughing hysterically, slapping your knee, like you just heard the funniest joke in the world. Abruptly stop.

9/18/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Thumb Tack

RESPONSE: “How would you like your eggs?” (Doesn’t make much sense to me either - just say it)

9/15/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Presentation

RESPONSE: “I have a presentation”. Roll up your sleeve and proudly present your elbow. Then say “I proudly present my elbow”.

9/14/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Tartar Sauce

RESPONSE: Fake gag. Follow up with “Sorry, I always gag when I hear the word Tartar Sauce”. Immediately gag again (because you just said Tartar Sauce). Then say “See - there I go again - I said Tartar Sauce.” Immediately gag again. Repeat until satisfied.

9/13/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Hole Punch

RESPONSE: Punch them in the mouth. When they come around to asking you why you did that say “because you asked for a hole punch - so I punched you in your mouth hole”. (editors note: I have problems)

9/12/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Tattoo

RESPONSE: “I have a tattoo, would you like to see it?”. Start unbuckling your belt and say “oh….I forgot…I’m not wearing underwear today, forget it.”

9/11/06

Simply put - take a moment to pay respect to those who lost their lives five years ago today, and say a prayer to those out there fighting for our freedom. Without it we wouldn’t be living the life we have today, stupid tees and all.

9/8/06

WORD OF THE DAY: TGIF

RESPONSE: “What does that mean?”. When they presumably explain ‘Thank God It’s Friday’, blanky stare at them and say “I don’t get it?”. Keep this act up until you’ve made yourself look like a total idiot.

9/7/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Tomato

RESPONSE: Say “You mean Tomato” (pronounced the fancy way - you know the song…you say tomato, I say tomaaatooo). If they happen to say it the fancy way, say “You mean Tomato”, the regular way. Or - if you’re feeling like this isn’t interesting enough. Say “You mean tomato”, and pronounce tomato exactly the same way they said it - when they say “that’s what I said”, say “exactly”.

9/6/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Sweater Vest

RESPONSE: Staring directly at the person who says this start applying lip balm, don’t stop until you’ve used it all.

9/5/06

WORD OF THE DAY: Post It Note

RESPONSE: When you get back to your office/room, cover yourself head to toe in post-it notes. Return to the person and say “I was bringing you some post it notes, and I tripped and fell”.

9/1/06

WORD OF THE DAY: September

RESPONSE: Shove a cinnamon donut in their face and pour a hot cup of Pumpkin Spice coffee on their crotch. (editors note: seriously - think twice about pouring hot coffee on someones crotch. although it’s a funny idea, it may not be a great one.)

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